A New Hello

I believe that the handshake, the hug, are just too old fashioned. Although, rubbing up against a pretty girl's ample chest sounds pretty cozy right now. I think we need a new form of hello. What I'm suggesting is the slap. Crazy am I? No sir, I have thought this through (for like 2 minutes). You see, with a slap you know exactly where you stand. A light slap, it's all good, a prepared to duel slap, you did something fucking wrong. If the slap is hard enough, it's punishment enough, and you both can move on. No wasted arguments, just straight to the punch, so to speak. It's like a relationship barometer. Slapping bitches will no longer have to be degrading. A pimp slap will just become an angry greeting. So no more with having to fake politeness when you awkwardly meet with someone you don't particularly like. All you have to do now is welcome that person to the rougher parts of slap city. You'll feel a hell of a lot better and that other person will know that they better start acting right. I say we just try the idea out for a day or so. If things don't work out, little harm is done. If things do work out, you can praise me for the idea. I'm just trying to get us closer to a Utopia here people.